I know of a woman who is a close-talker. She must not know she is, surely you would take a step back if you did know. It really bothers me to have my space invaded like that, to have someone stealing my air. I've always had a keen eye for social conventions and feel for people who are less aware (if this sounds sanctimonious or if you've noticed, for example, that I have a social issue like, I don't know, extreme body odour or halitosis or something, let me know). There are whole characters built around those who are less than comfortable in their own skin or who make others feel this way. I've always enjoyed a good comfortable distance, thank you very much.
Back up to this weekend. After spending about 44 out of 48 hours with a fevered child in my arms or against my body while sleeping, I couldn't take it. These are children who like to burrow. At one point, Sophie had tucked her face right into my armpit to sleep. I asked her if it was a bit smelly to sleep like that and she said, "No, it just smells like shirt." Apparently we can knock extreme body-odour off as an offense, at least against my own family. I told Gary that I just needed a bit of time without anyone touching me. He sent me to the bathtub after dinner with instructions to bring a book and lock the door. I turned on the bathroom fan to block out the noise and filled the tub with steaming water. I stayed in until I was a poached lobster look-alike, read a chapter of my novel, and emerged a very refreshed, if not prunelike, and restored mother.
Last night I was just about ready to climb into my bed when I heard Georgia crying from her room. I went in to find a feverish little girl who couldn't tell me why she was sad. I picked her up and sat with her for a while and she relaxed and went back to sleep. Knowing defeat when I see it, I just tucked her in between Gary and I and spent the night with my own personal heater. No space yet again.
Feeling a bit too close to my family as I woke up this morning, I began the day in avoidance. And then it hit me. It has been years since Olivia has fallen asleep in my arms, even longer since Noah has wanted to have that kind of closeness. My 5-year old has no front teeth. My opportunities for snuggle sleep are fleeting.
Personal space is overrated.
5 comments:
I've never made a secret of how much I like/need my personal space - but I have to say I hardly ever turn away Charlotte's cuddles - she's growing up way too fast and I know it won't be long before I miss them :( (but I could still never homeschool - you're still my hero! LOL)
WOW!!!!! That threw me off guard. I was agreeing with you the entire time. I feel very overwhelmed by my hang-on-3 year old right now, she NEVER leaves me alone. Now I'm going to enjoy every minute of it. not only do you home-school, you've now friend-schooled :) I thank you :)
lol I used to have a shirt that said "don't touch me" when I was a kid b/c I hated being touched. It's funny how, I've learnt to relax with my children over that, but it defineately takes it toll on me as how I can stand touch and if anyone else gets too close. So, I can totally relate to what you posted here! Drives me nanners!
Hey! I promise you if we share a room at the ladies retreat I won't touch you! hehe.
btw, happy Birthday!!!
Yes thank goodness for 8 year olds who still climb in bed to cuddle between us in the middle of the night. And for a 12 year old (and a boy at that!!!) who comes to find me in the morning to give me a hug and a kiss to tell me good morning. I'm blessed.
I am so sorry that the flu invaded your home. But it is amazing to me how you can always look at the positive of all things.
My son has recently decided that all he wants is his daddy and so I would give anything for him to need ME.
Cherish your time girlie! Even if it is with a feverish sticky little girl :)
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