{Personal Space}

I know of a woman who is a close-talker. She must not know she is, surely you would take a step back if you did know. It really bothers me to have my space invaded like that, to have someone stealing my air. I've always had a keen eye for social conventions and feel for people who are less aware (if this sounds sanctimonious or if you've noticed, for example, that I have a social issue like, I don't know, extreme body odour or halitosis or something, let me know). There are whole characters built around those who are less than comfortable in their own skin or who make others feel this way. I've always enjoyed a good comfortable distance, thank you very much.

Back up to this weekend. After spending about 44 out of 48 hours with a fevered child in my arms or against my body while sleeping, I couldn't take it. These are children who like to burrow. At one point, Sophie had tucked her face right into my armpit to sleep. I asked her if it was a bit smelly to sleep like that and she said, "No, it just smells like shirt." Apparently we can knock extreme body-odour off as an offense, at least against my own family. I told Gary that I just needed a bit of time without anyone touching me. He sent me to the bathtub after dinner with instructions to bring a book and lock the door. I turned on the bathroom fan to block out the noise and filled the tub with steaming water. I stayed in until I was a poached lobster look-alike, read a chapter of my novel, and emerged a very refreshed, if not prunelike, and restored mother.

Last night I was just about ready to climb into my bed when I heard Georgia crying from her room. I went in to find a feverish little girl who couldn't tell me why she was sad. I picked her up and sat with her for a while and she relaxed and went back to sleep. Knowing defeat when I see it, I just tucked her in between Gary and I and spent the night with my own personal heater. No space yet again.

Feeling a bit too close to my family as I woke up this morning, I began the day in avoidance. And then it hit me. It has been years since Olivia has fallen asleep in my arms, even longer since Noah has wanted to have that kind of closeness. My 5-year old has no front teeth. My opportunities for snuggle sleep are fleeting.

Personal space is overrated.

Birthday Banner

After a half-day at the spa with my husband, I walked in the door of our home to see this banner. The kids popped out from behind the wall and said, "That's just the start, we cleaned the whole house!!" And they did. With the help of their sitter, they tackled every room, vacuumed the living room, and did some major tidying. I could not have been more pleased. They could not have been more pleased with themselves.

I'm just struck over and over by how much we all value work and doing a good job. I am a pretty relaxed homemaker. I know that this is a season of my life, this time at home with little ones but I do get stressed out when I start to feel like "things" are out of control. I have never been a pack-rat and I'm not huge on shopping for household stuff (crafting supplies...well, that's another post altogether). One of my first impressions of Gary, after meeting his roommates and visiting his apartment, was of how little "stuff" he had. I was so drawn to that as it flew in the face of what many of our contemporaries were doing with their apartments, dorm rooms, etc. Nevertheless, life comes with stuff and kids come with even more stuff. I struggle to stay on top of the paper, the clutter, the toys. I am more and more convicted of how we all benefit from being able to walk through a room without stepping on something and I am constantly looking to organize our stuff better. This is not a large home, it's even a "smallish" home by today's bigger-means-better standards. We long to stay here, in part to ward off the collection of even more stuff.

Literally two minutes after our sitter left on Friday, sickness invaded our home. A weekend with little on the calendar changed into a weekend of constant care of our two youngest daughters. I was able to escape for a bath on Sunday evening after holding one or the other of them for about 40 hours. Ahhhhh, that felt great. I've not seen either of them that ill for a long long time. I just rearranged out schedule today, canceling an afternoon lesson, so that I can just focus here again today. Serenity now! Poor Georgia, she wanted to be at the dinner table last night but could not hold her head up to even take a bite.

Speaking of stuff...I got a great order of stamps and accessories from Stampin' Up a couple of days ago. I've assembled all the stamps and now just need to carve out some time to create. Easier said than done.

Have a great Tuesday! More later.

Natural Performer

This layout is of Olivia's Christmas Recital last month. Poor kid, I didn't bring her music because she had both of her pieces memorized. What I didn't understand was that she planned to play them both as duets with her piano teacher. I was just happy we all got there in time and hair was brushed, come on! It didn't phase her in the least, she got up and played her two songs beautifully. O Come, All Ye Faithful and Joseph Dearest, Joseph Mine were heard through the house for a good part of December.

Being a musician myself, I struggle to know the line between encouragement and nagging. I don't want to be a controlling mother but, honestly, this is a talented child. My oldest plays the guitar and is doing quite well. My third is already lined up to start taking violin lessons by this fall (she has an incredible ear and may prove to be the most talented of all of us). However, Olivia has this drive and dedication that will see her go far. I don't think I've asked her more than a handful of times in the last 18 months to practice. She is diligent and thorough, much more than I can say for my own approach. She has a marvelous attention span. Just need to keep myself in check so I don't turn her off.

If I don't show up tomorrow, don't be concerned. I'll just be adjusting to my new age. Yes, another year to celebrate. My husband has terrific plans for the two of us. We're heading to a nearby city for lunch and a long soak in the mineral spa. He booked a massage for me at 3:15. We plan to be back here by 7 to eat cake with our children, put them to bed, and enjoy a quiet evening. I cannot wait!!!

WIP Wednesday

It's a Stitch-a-thon Week at Cross Stitch Crazy, a message board I have been a part of for almost six years and a place where I've met some dear dear friends. I try to participate and actually have had more success this past year since the curse of the SAT has been lifted from me. In years past, it was inevitable: SAT meant I would not have an opportunity to even look at my stitching during that week. The last couple of nights it has been wonderful to snuggle up on the couch and enjoy some quiet stitching after the little ones have gone to bed. This is my progress on Thoughtful Heart by Shepherd's Bush. Stitched with one strand of silk floss and oodles of delicious specialty stitches. Gary gave this to me a couple of years ago for my birthday or our anniversary (can't remember which) and I've finally decided to stop hoarding these kits and use them up!

Feeling a bit sad today as I know my friend is leaving for BC and her new home there. Sigh. Seems like this is a common occurrence in this city, saying goodbye. We have practiced this several times over the last eight years that we've lived here. This city seems to be just the right size for transition: people move here from a smaller centre and use it as a stepping stone to where they really want to go. We have other friends going through a tough time, faced with some decisions. I had a good little cry last night and a conversation with my husband about how I need to guard my heart. It's great to be invested in others but I cannot feel responsible for their decisions and I cannot let it affect how I function. A bit too tender, perhaps. So, I pray and carry on with my own life which needs enough attention. Finding that balance between sharing burdens and becoming incapacitated by things I have no control over will likely be something I struggle with my whole life.

School. Oh yeah, I guess we should do some! Have a great day! I so appreciate the kind comments left on here. It's wonderful to know that you find dropping by here worthy of your time! Blessings on your day.

Morning Meeting

In the morning, O LORD, You will hear my voice;
In the morning I will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch. Psalm 5:3 (NASB)

After a few tough days of busy schedules, demanding children, feelings of inadequacy, and endless tasks, this is how the Lord chose to bless me this morning. Before the school day had started, I glanced over from the computer desk and saw this most beautiful sight. She's seven years old. She plays the piano and loves crafts. She's easily frustrated with herself and uncommonly merciful with others. She was my reminder, as this week began, to focus my time on things of eternal value, that this is the WHY in answer to the question about the choices I have made. Let no one look down on you because you are young.

Doesn't this verse fit perfectly with my "one little word" for 2007, LISTEN? How cool! I am planning to do a scrapbooking layout that focuses on that word, but I'm not sure what it will look like yet. I am in need of some general type cards, I used up five cards this weekend so it's time to replenish the stock. Besides, then I have stuff to show you, right?

A couple more things have cleared off my schedule and I'm wondering what that means for opportunities over the next few months. I had agreed, last year, to be a part of the worship team for the upcoming womens' retreat at our church. A good friend of mine has led several times over the last few years and I turned her down last year, just wanting to go and participate, but I promised her my services for this year. She hadn't contacted me about it so I asked yesterday and found out that someone else is leading the music and she is leading a session instead. Woohoo! No rehearsals or extra pieces to learn, the retreat is just weeks away and that is cutting it close for me to feel prepared. Yesterday afternoon I met, for the last time, with one of the young women I've been mentoring since May. She's moving to BC on Wednesday. I am so excited for her but it was a very difficult goodbye. I've grown to love her and am so delighted to have had the privilege to watch her mature in her faith over the last several months. So cool. There are a couple of rumblings of ministry possibilities but nothing concrete as of yet. Maybe I'm entering a more relaxed season. Or maybe there is something around the corner that I cannot yet see. I suppose at this point my role is to listen and "eagerly watch."

The Manicures

My Mom is a really good mother but she's an even better grandmother. When Grandma comes the girls know that certain things will happen: there will likely be some kind of shopping, she will sing to them at bedtime, she will give them their baths, they can go down to her bed in the night instead of coming to our room, and nails and hair will be done. They don't ask me to do this, but it's a given that Grandma will. I know that she buys certain shades with them in mind and they are so excited to see if the selection has changed. One by one they make their way to the table to be filed and polished and fussed over. The girls are only 7, 5, and 4, but this has been going on for years already. She has even inspired some of her friends to start this ritual with their granddaughters. I love that she does this and the way the girls respond. Absolutely priceless.

I often think that Proverbs 31 speaks of the inner beauty of a woman, the character that makes a godly woman worthy of praise:

"Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (vv. 28-30)

The passage certainly does speak to what endures but it certainly doesn't speak against physical beauty and attention. Look at v. 22:

She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

Do you think she might have, given the opportunity, polished her granddaughters' nails? What I do know is that these little manicure sessions are about a lot more than getting the nails done. There is lasting relational stuff going on during these moments. And that is truly beautiful.

li-s&n

Main Entry: 1lis·ten
Pronunciation: 'li-s&n
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): lis·tened; lis·ten·ing /'lis-ni[ng], 'li-s&n-i[ng]/
Etymology: Middle English listnen, from Old English hlysnan; akin to Sanskrit srosati he hears, Old English hlud loud
transitive verb, archaic : to give ear to : HEAR
intransitive verb
1 : to pay attention to sound
2 : to hear something with thoughtful attention : give consideration
3 : to be alert to catch an expected sound
- lis·ten·er /'lis-n&r, 'li-s&n-&r/ noun

I especially like the thoughtful attention bit in #2.